What is the first thing you see when you look in the mirror?
Are you suddenly reminded of your flaws? Do you begin to explore the minute details of your many imperfections? Do you hear that familiar voice that berates you and reminds you how ‘unbeautiful’ you are? Or do you see your scars, visible and invisible? Do you relive the hurt and pain? Are you reminded how unworthy you are? How and where you messed up?
Hold up… wait a minute. When was the last time you saw a picture of anyone, maybe a baby or some cute kid and you thought, “How could anyone not love that?” Well, could that be you? Let’s try this, get your baby pic or toddler pic or kid pic or all of the above. Look at that adorable little thing. Does he or she not deserve all the love in the world? Of course, you did. And you still do.
There’s at least one person in all this world who thinks you deserve everything good. The person who believes this the most should be you.
When people talk about self-love, the conversation tends to flow towards self-indulgence and over-compensation against self-loathing. That is a more cosmetic approach. The deal is if you cannot genuinely fall in love with yourself, you will always be wondering how some other person can.
Let’s go back to the picture(s). What are the wonderful things about you that you can see playing in your mind. Peek into your memories. Was it your cheeky smile? Your infectious laughter? A certain glint in your eyes? Your absorption in whatever got your attention per time? Was it your favourite things?
Here’s what Harvey Specter advises… you know that tender, could never-ever hurt, squeeze-my-heart, cross-the-ocean-for-you, bit-a-bullet-for-you, love-you-forever, all-encompassing, full-hearted love that you line up the red carpet to your heart with for other people? Yeah, that one. Love you with that very same love.
When you look in the mirror, let your heart and mind say, “who wouldn’t love that”. That’s how to love you.