Mrs Leprechaun? No, thanks.

How to become Mrs Leprechaun

“Did you know that if you sneeze 7 times and no one says ‘bless you’, The Leprechaun will come and carry you away and marry you & you can never come back home?” said Banx.

“It’s not true”, I said.

“It is very true” he insisted. “Someone has to tell you ‘bless you’ before your 7th sneeze. Otherwise, you will become the Leprechaun’s wife forever and ever.”

“I won’t go with him. I’ll scream and bite and scratch his eyes.”

“You can’t. He has magic. You have to go with him.”

I knew it was a ridiculous notion but somewhere in the mind of my much younger self, I feared it might be true. Unfortunately for me, whenever I sneeze, I tend to go on and on. I never used to count how many times. Now I do. And you can imagine why.

How It Almost Happened

On that very day, I was in one of my sneezing series. I remembered that there was some short, mean, ugly, greedy, awful man in green tights who could zoom me off to the end of the rainbow and a pot of gold hanging around somewhere. Nuh-uh. Not today. I needed someone to say ‘bless you’ to me before my 7th sneeze. Unfortunately, there was no one else around but my brother, Banx. In between my sneezes, I desperately asked him to tell me ‘bless you’. He asked why. I told him why.

By now, I was sure I was already on the 4th or 5th sneeze. I was frantic. All he had to do was say ‘bless you’. To my dismay, he started laughing. The more I pleaded, the more he laughed. By this time, hot tears were flowing down my face and my heart was twisting in pain because my life was over. The leprechaun was coming for me. In response, he laughed even worse. I’m talking about those eyes-shut-tight, roll-on-the-floor and hold-your-tummy kind of laughter. You know, like Chris Evans.

All I could think was “The Leprechaun will be here any minute. Just say ‘bless you’!! Maybe he’ll give me a pass or something and won’t take me away.”

All he had to do was just say it. He never did.

I wept until the sneezing stopped. By the way, the Leprechaun never showed. I told myself I was lucky that time because I probably didn’t sneeze up to 7 times. Yeah, well, I had to come up with some explanation. Right?!

Say ‘Bless You’

For a long time afterwards, I always asked people to say ‘bless you’ whenever I sneezed. Even now, I’m very aware when no one says it. I make sure that I don’t sound desperate when I nicely ask, “Won’t you say ‘bless you’?” Sometimes, I hear, “we’re waiting for you to finish sneezing.” Please, I’m begging you in this life, DONT WAIT O!

I reminded Banx of this incident a couple of years back. He started laughing all over again. Imagine! I for one am glad that I never became Mrs Leprechaun. All I’m saying is, if someone sneezes beside you, just say ‘bless you’. You never know, you may be saving a life!

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2 Responses

  1. Lolade Akin says:

    This was hilarious to read. I just tell myself ‘bless me’ when I sneeze 🤧 😂

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