Flowers are for the Dying

Losing a loved one opens you up to a series of emotions and reflections.

How does it happen?

You often find yourself:

  • 1. Thinking life is fickle and death is inevitable.
  • 2. Bonding with others in your circle, sharing your grief and reminiscing over shared memories.
  • 3. Feeling grateful that you’re alive
  • 4. Feeling thankful for all your life’s blessings (loved ones and achievements)
  • 5. Wishing you had more time with the departed
  • 6. Wishing you could undo some of the unpleasant choices you made with them
  • 7. Deciding to do more with your time
  • 8. Setting new standards for yourself to become more and be your best self
  • 9. Resolving to be there more for others (family, friends, etc)
How do you manage these feelings?

I find it interesting that too many times, we think and feel these things so strongly. However, we don’t always follow through. Why? It’s as though death opens a window that reminds us of certain possibilities and causes us to review our choices so far, and also consider new opportunities. But that’s all it does. It gives us a peek. Somehow, we move on from that time until the next time we get a peek.

I wrote this piece thinking about how generous we get when death lurks. The flowers when we visit the hospital, the flowers at the burial. I’d rather smell those flowers now that I’m here. You can’t even see them when you’re six feet under the ground.

Show the special people in your life what they mean to you every opportunity you get. Not because ‘oh you never know what day is their last’. Forget that. Do it because they would take those beautiful memories you have shared with them over a grave filled with flowers, or a vault built with gold. At that point, it’s meaningless no matter how impressive.

So, send those flowers. Take them out for the special dinners. Create special memories more deliberately. Don’t wait for a special day to come around. Make the day special by showing up and being there.

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