Can’t Fix it? Put it Away
Your guilts and regrets won’t change the past. Your anxieties and worries won’t change the future. What do you do when you can’t fix something you have no power to change?
Can’t Fix the Past?
I know I’m not the only one who recalls something I messed up and gets upset all over again. Lately, I ask myself, ‘Given the same situation, would I do anything differently?’ If the answer is yes, then I have won. It means that I have evolved to become a much-improved person and I can take that experience as a lesson learned. If the answer is no, it means that the matter is not worth the headache. Moving on involves a lot more than quoting inspirational quotes. It requires moving your body, mind and soul from the person you used to be to a new destination – the person you want to be.
Can’t Create the Future?
Stressing about something that hasn’t even happened yet is asking for grey hairs. It isn’t just your body that is put through some stress. Your mind takes a hit too. What you then do, is attach negative emotions to that matter. You might get there and find that it was not as bad as you thought. Perhaps it is as bad. Or maybe it’s worse.
How does the worrying help you face a future you haven’t experienced? When you’re imagining your worst-case scenarios, also imagine how best you can deal with them. Give your mind something productive to do instead. Come up with possible solutions. It might turn out that you’ll never need those solutions but your mind will be better for it.
Another approach is to create a folder or box. Write down the challenge. Every time you ponder on it, pick up the paper where you’ve written it. If you can’t fix it, put it in the box. Over time, you’ll be surprised how many things you couldn’t fix that somehow worked out themselves.
Adopt this mechanism – If you can’t fix it, put it away, to pick it up some other day.