Christmas Venom

All I wanted for Christmas was my very own Venom.

It would eat only vegetables (enough healthy eating for both of us), some carbs (again not too much cos we’re trying not to add any new weight) and cooked (and of course seasoned) meat. No brains or eyes, none of that ewww stuff. My Christmas Venom would be a very classy lady. Of course, we would spend Christmas bonding, laughing at my jokes, and catching up on that list of 2021 movies I still haven’t got round to. Let’s see, what else?

Yes. I hear you… A dream as wishful as a jolly, fat, Santa, ho-ho-hoing down through my chimney (I don’t have a chimney by the way). But isn’t that what Christmas is all about? Making wishes and trusting that your parents can make them come true?

Oh to be an innocent child again, if only for one Christmas (sigh). All my worries would be about Christmas Jollof, Chicken and half a bottle of Fanta (my dad never let me have a full bottle to myself. He said it wasn’t good for me and I believed him then… yes I did).

If there was a red pill that would take you back to your childhood, without your memories, knowledge of the world and all of the wisdom you have acquired… would you go for it?

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